The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
