i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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