her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dear god my vagina.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
