i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
