Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
