WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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