Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
