So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
