So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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