my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize