I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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