I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
