I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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