you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
