she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize