i always forget guys have bellybuttons
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
