Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
