you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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