I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
