you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
