I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
