To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and she was petting her beer can
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
