if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
