It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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