Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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