Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
