I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
