there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
