So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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