So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
