Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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