she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
