...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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