In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
