I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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