If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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