There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
