then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
