Dual....:-)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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