Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
