So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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