The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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