My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
