can u get pink eye on your cock?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
