he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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