Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
