There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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