We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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