Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
