We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize