these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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