I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
