I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
