Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
