It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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