I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
