I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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