I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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