i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
