"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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