Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
