Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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