How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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