I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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