sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
