We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
