you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
