the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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